Last Updated on May 13, 2025

You are what you practice (and you’re always practicing)

Almost everyone feels stressed sometimes.

What do we do to relax?

Maybe we watch Netflix, or play video games, or scroll social media.

But perhaps these activities aren’t doing it for us.

So we meditate, do some slow breathing, some self-hypnosis, or some tapping.

That’s good.

And yet, sometimes we notice we don’t seem to be making much progress.

What’s going on?

From stress-relief to energy mastery

When we do “stress relief” activities, we are thinking about the problem in a way that guarantees we keep getting stressed.

We are thinking “I just need to do a little something to relax.”

But that’s different than trying to resolve getting stressed in the first place.

It’s the difference between cleaning your house and redesigning it so it always stays clean.

Both are good.

But one is a lot deeper.

You don’t have to redesign your entire life to run better.

You can though, if you want!

It’s just a matter of practice.

We can go beyond “stress relief” and aim for “energy mastery” instead.

Practice makes better

All day we are doing things.

And most of what we do is automatic and habitual.

That means when we change an automatic habit, this quickly becomes something new that we are practicing.

And whatever we practice regularly, we get better at.

Eventually we become that thing.

As an example, if you practice all day saying things to yourself like:

“That’s gonna take so much energy…”

Then soon enough, you will simply believe it!

That’s hypnosis 101.

But if you instead practice saying,

“I can easily get started!”

Then soon you’ll believe that too.

Especially if you also imagine easily getting started on things.

Automatic practice

There’s deliberate practice, where you try to consciously get better at something.

And then there’s automatic practice, where you just unconsciously repeat something over and over.

If you want to go beyond “stress relief” and get something like “energy mastery,” the goal is ultimately not to simply engage in deliberate practice, but automatic practice.

The idea is not therefore just to relax for a few minutes a day.

But to practice deliberate relaxation so you can make relaxation automatic.

If you’re practicing relaxation, can you do things in a relaxed way?

Or if you’re practicing being in the flow, can you be in the flow more and more throughout the day?

That’s the idea.

Not just to practice for a few minutes a day, but to live it.

Microhits

If you don’t know how to do that at first, try “microhits.”

This is an idea from meditation teacher Shinzen Young.

A “microhit” of meditation is just 30 seconds to 5 minutes of meditation.

The idea is to do this many times a day, in addition to any regular meditation practice you have.

You could also do this with other things like slow breathing, relaxation exercises, self-hypnosis, or tapping.

So you could work on something stressful for 25 minutes, then do 5 minutes of your favorite relaxation practice.

Or you could do 30 seconds of mindful breathing ten or twenty times a day.

The idea is to alternate going back and forth between the thing that calms your nervous system, and the thing that activates it, until they merge.

Then eventually you can do the thing without getting activated.

And when you reach that point, everything becomes “stress relief.”

So your whole life becomes “practice.”

And the truth is, it already is.

Because in the end, you are what you practice, and you’re always practicing.

Let this be an invitation to not merely practice the thing you are wanting to become, but to simply be it.

Right now, and in every moment.

Take care,

 

 

 

~Duff
(they/them)

P.S. If you’d like help redesigning your inner space, I’d love to guide you. Get in touch!