The Joy of Doing
Weekly Group Coaching for neurodivergent entrepreneurs and other creative people.
What our members say
“It would be hard to recognize the progress I’ve been making without this group. A lot of things have changed, but I wouldn’t have noticed them without these regular meetings.”
~O.M., Student
“I always feel good after this group. In another group I’m a part of, it’s deep but I don’t necessarily feel good after.”
~J.C., Entrepreneur
“This group has helped me see my patterns really well. I’m writing about the same thing over again, so I’m more conscious now. I’m treating it as a science experiment and seeing possibility.”
~S.M., Designer
“This has been an amazing year. I feel like even though I went through a lot of hard stuff, I am so extremely grateful to be alive. This group has really supported me in that positive mindset.”
~N.M., Parent
“I have learned so much. … I look forward to it every week. I’ve paid a lot more for other classes that I couldn’t even attempt. They weren’t good enough to get there. And, so [your class is] better than anything else I’ve done.”
~J.D. Coach
Dear fellow weirdo,
I have a really important message to share with you today, so I hope you will read this whole letter.
Here’s the summary:
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. And you’re not alone.
For too long, too many of us neurodivergent, creative folks have struggled with things like…
- getting started,
- staying focused,
- trying to get it “perfect,”
- doubting ourselves,
- being tired all the time,
- “caring too much,”
- or feeling like we’re too sensitive.
Because of this, we came to believe that there was something fundamentally wrong with us.
Well guess what?
That’s some grade-A bullshit.
The reason you struggle with doing things isn’t because there’s anything wrong with your beautiful, radiant soul.
It’s because the way we do things in society is designed badly.
When we encounter badly designed things, we blame ourselves.
But it’s not your fault.
You’re not broken.
It’s just that you were never meant to fit into a broken system.
You were meant for something much greater.
This is going to sound weird, but the solution to your productivity problems is also the solution to the world’s problems.
Allow me to explain.
The Punishment Paradigm
The reality is this:
Doing stuff in today’s world is not designed for our sensitive nervous systems.
Us neurodivergent folks are literally picking up far more information.
Trying to process all this can lead our inner fire to burn out.
But it’s not just us.
We’ve designed the world to burn out 50% of all workers.
And even people who work for themselves often struggle with burnout.
Why?
Because most of our world is built around The Punishment Paradigm.
That’s the idea that the best or only way to motivate ourselves is with fear and pain.
The Punishment Paradigm creates a kind of “toxic productivity.”
We feel pressure to constantly be busy, and yet it never feels like enough.
Well-meaning parents, teachers, religions, workplaces, and self-help influencers all tell us to “be disciplined” and force ourselves to do things we hate.
They tell us “this is the only way,” or even “this is what makes you a good person.”
But that’s just one story.
While we can do things in this way, it comes with a high cost.
Perhaps you’ve always thought there must be a better way.
Well luckily, there is!
The Progress Paradigm
We call that better way The Progress Paradigm.
This is the idea that we can motivate ourselves and others through love and joy.
When we design things for ease and enjoyment, we accomplish more.
It’s a basic principle of User Experience Design (UX).
UX is all about designing things better to meet people’s needs.
Ideally the things we make are not just “user-friendly” but positively enjoyable to use.
Would you purposely design a website to be annoying so your visitors learn “self-discipline”?
Or would you make it easy and enjoyable for them to get the job done?
From The Progress Paradigm, it makes no sense to make doing things harder than they need to be.
So why do we design our lives to be difficult and stressful?
Trance-ending
The Punishment Paradigm is like a trance.
We think we have to force ourselves to do things we hate.
Luckily, we can end that trance.
We can wake up and come back to our senses.
What if we designed doing things to feel effortless, or even ecstatic?
Not only does this feel better, it also works better.
When we do things from The Punishment Paradigm, we create misery for ourselves and others.
But when we do things from The Progress Paradigm, we create happiness for ourselves and others.
We start to come alive more and more.
We heal old wounds and see new possibilities.
And we accomplish more than we ever thought possible — without it ever feeling like “work” at all!
Trance-forming
You can experience a paradigm shift.
You can end the trance of toxic productivity, created by The Punishment Paradigm.
You can form a trance of joyful doing, created by The Progress Paradigm.
And together we can redesign the world to work better for everyone.
Now you have a choice.
How do you want to live your life?
I hope you’ll join us in moving away from fear and towards love.
I invite you to take the first step by joining my weekly coaching group, The Joy of Doing.
We meet every Sunday for an hour at 11 AM Denver time.
It’s only $47 a month, and it’s also included as a free bonus with any 1-on-1 coaching subscription with me.
You can sign up for the group now, or you can get a free 30-minute consultation first.
Whatever you decide to do next, I hope you continue to choose love over fear.
Take care,
~Duff (they/them)
P.S. If you want to receive inspiring emails just like this (always written by a real human), sign up for my email newsletter. I email once a week, unsubscribe anytime.
You can learn to become productive
without all the stress.
Even if you’ve failed at numerous productivity systems in the past,
you can learn to become positively productive in a joyful way.
Join a kind community
where it is safe to be yourself.
Many people are scared to join groups, especially if there is some element of “accountability.”
We fear there is something deeply wrong with us, and joining a group will simply expose that.
If we are sensitive and neurodivergent, we fear that perhaps we don’t belong anywhere at all in this world.
So let me speak directly to that scared part of you now:
Your productivity does not determine your worth.
Your worth is inherent.
Your goodness is a given.
And, it’s also OK to want to get things done, to want to accomplish your ambitious goals.
I believe you can do this while being yourself.
You don’t have to mask, hide, or pretend to be someone you’re not.
You don’t have to play by the rules of The Punishment Paradigm, forcing yourself to do shit you hate.
You can be successful and kind, confident and compassionate.
Find out how in our community of weirdos.
Doing things out of joy and love instead of fear and pain is an ongoing practice, for me too.
Having support from like-minded people really, really helps.
We have Zoom meetings every Sunday at 11:00 AM to noon Denver time, and have been going strong every week since the start of 2023.
Many people enjoy being a part of this group for years (and of course you can stop at any time).
We’d love it if you would join us too.
Only $47 a month.
My Values
🌍☮️❤️🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Given the state of the world, I find it important to express what I care about.
I want more love and joy.
I want to help planet Earth heal.
I want to co-create a win-win world that works for everyone.
I want more peace and justice for all, as in the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
I want more democracy, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, and kindness towards all beings (while also taking no shit from anyone).
I don’t want more environmental destruction.
I don’t want more genocide, war, torture, oppression, and abuse.
I don’t want more transphobia, racism, ableism, sexism, and homophobia.
I believe it is possible to create a better world together.
If you share my values, welcome!
This is the place for you.
~Duff (they/them)
❤️ May all beings be happy and free from suffering. ❤️
