Last Updated on June 24, 2024

“Yes, and…” with self-doubt

Self-doubt is an extremely common experience.

It especially affects us creative, neurodivergent folks.

That’s for two reasons:

  1. Our very existence is “outside the norm,” and thus questioned by others.
  2. We are doing new and different things, for which there is often no precedent.

So self-doubt is not necessarily a sign we are on the wrong path.

It might be a sign that we’re growing, expanding our comfort zone, or trying new things.

We only encounter obstacles on a path when we’re walking the path!

First, Go With It

So how do we deal with self-doubt when it arises?

In Ericksonian Hypnosis, there’s the idea of going with the problem first.

Instead of resisting self-doubt when it arises, we can welcome it.

Lately, my mind has been automatically rejecting some of my creative business ideas.

A part of me says, “What if it doesn’t work?”

Arguing with this part of me just creates more inner conflict.

So instead, I welcome it.

“Yes, it might not work, that’s a possibility.”

“So if I did try this, it would be important to test whether it’s even a good idea, so I don’t spend too much time and energy on it.”

In this way, I can welcome and integrate the objection, rather than reject it.

Then, Take it in a New Direction

Once we go with the self-doubt, that part relaxes a bit.

Then we can take it in a new and different direction.

“It might not work, and let’s try it find out!”

“Maybe it works better than I expect?”

“If it doesn’t work, I’ll probably learn something really useful!”

“Yes, and…”

In Improv Comedy, this is called “yes, and…”

When someone suggests something silly in a scene, you welcome it, and add to it.

This keeps the improvisational flow going.

We can also flow with our self-doubts by welcoming them first, then adding something new.

In Gestalt Therapy they say, “Don’t push the river.”

Things are already flowing in a certain direction.

We can learn to go with the flow.

That doesn’t mean being passively dragged by the current.

It means steering our way through the river of life.

The important thing is to not swim upstream!

Leave that to the salmon.

Take care,

 

 

 

~Duff
(they/them)

P.S. One business idea I have is to make a podcast of me coaching people. The idea would be to show how transformation is possible for anybody.

Would you be interested in a free coaching session, where the audio of the session would be used for a podcast? If so, get in touch.