Last Updated on November 5, 2025

The 3 Stages of Power

As a coach and hypnotist, I actually don’t fix, change, or rescue people.

I simply see them as already powerful.

And then I invite them to realize that for themselves.

That is my primary job.

Because once we realize our unshakable inner power, we no longer have any problems.

We simply say, “no problem” and get it done.

When we are in our power, we have access to all our inner resources.

When we are feeling powerful, people around us then want to help, for some magical reason.

However, we don’t necessarily experience this all at once.

There are stages to realizing our power.

Stage 1: Powerlessness

We experience ourselves as powerless when we believe, usually unconsciously, that external things outside of our power must change in order for us to be happy or at peace.

• Other people must love me and think highly of me.
• The political situation in my country must be different.
• The weather must be nicer.
• I have to make more money.
• I should be more productive.

And so on.

This is the most powerless of all positions.

It is the “victim” position, because we feel at the mercy of external forces.

Luckily, it is totally false.

This way of thinking is unconsciously choosing to follow external forces, to make them your leader, leading your emotions especially.

It is deciding, “I am not in control of my experience, something else is.”

This is out of alignment with Reality.

Because the truth is, you are never truly powerless.

Stage 2: Partial Power

Sometimes we realize we have some influence over external things.

This is true.

To some extent, we can influence what others think of us, our reputation, our success, our fame, our wealth, our health, our political environment, and so on.

However, at Stage 2 we are not quite seeing clearly yet.

Instead of believing we are powerless, we believe, “If I change me, my beliefs and emotions and behaviors, then I can control those external things…and then I’ll finally be happy!”

This view is closer to Reality, but still basically flawed.

Yes, we have some influence.

But ultimately we do not have power over those things.

And we don’t even need those external things to be as we’d prefer to feel completely fulfilled.

It’s still subtly trying to force, manipulate, or bargain with Reality to do your bidding.

But here’s the thing:

• You can try and try to be understood, and someone might still misunderstand you.
• You can do all the “right” things for health and still get sick.
• You can run the same marketing strategy as someone else and have it not work for you.

It sucks, but that’s just how Reality works.

Stage 2 is still holding out for “manifesting” our dream reality, with a hidden “have to.”

Manifesting is great, it’s realizing you are a creator.

It’s just that at this stage, you still believe you have to get the partner, the job, the money, the health, whatever it is, in order to be happy or at peace.

Stage 2 is more connected with our true source of power within, connected to our “can.”

But it’s still believing that somehow you can perfectly influence things to always be exactly what you want them to be.

As long as you just have an attitude of gratitude, or visualize it clearly enough, or want it badly enough, or do enough affirmations, or get another certification…

When things don’t turn out the way we want, we suffer, get frustrated, or even double down on our efforts to try to control the world by controlling ourselves.

Because we are still attached to always getting what we want.

This keeps us on the treadmill of feeling “never good enough.”

And that means we have not yet fully realized our true inner power.

Stage 3: Unconditional Power

At Stage 3, we realize the truth about Reality.

The place of power is always within.

All power is inner power.

The only place we have power is in our own experience, and even then, our power needs cultivation.

But the good news is that it is always possible to be happy or at peace, despite external circumstances.

Because all the happy chemicals are created inside of your body.

Getting what you want is just an excuse to fire off those neurochemicals.

In this stage, we can still have preferences, but we no longer have demands of Reality to conform to our wishes.

Instead, we invite people and circumstances and even ourselves to be as we’d like them to be.

But we have released attachment to things being as we’d prefer, because we see clearly now.

Reality doesn’t have to do what we want!

So when things do go how we like, we naturally feel gratitude…even without having to do daily gratitude journaling or manifestation work.

Practicing gratitude is of course a wonderful thing.

It just that when we see clearly, we never take anything for granted.

We also feel empowered, capable, confident, and able to take positive action.

So ironically, by letting go of all attachment to our desired outcomes, we are more capable of manifesting them.

Because we aren’t coming off as needy, clingy, or manipulative, people are more willing to join our cause, want to connect, or buy our products.

These stages are non-linear.

At times we all fall into powerlessness, partial power, or unconditional power.

When we can recognize where we are operating, it can help us to come back into alignment with Reality.

Take care,

 

 

 

~Duff
(they/them)

P.S. Want to experience your unshakable inner power? Book a free 30-minute consultation to see if my coaching or weekly group is right for you.