Last Updated on November 15, 2023
Every day is another opportunity for practicing wisdom, kindness, and inner power.
And because it’s practice, it’s OK if you do it imperfectly.
Mistakes are how we learn and grow.
I make mistakes every day!
It’s No Use Crying Over Failed Milk
Today I woke up and we had no milk for coffee.
This wasn’t a surprise.
Yesterday I failed to go to the grocery store as I intended.
So this morning I went for a little walk over to the store and grabbed some milk.
No big deal!
But I used to beat myself up over these kinds of things.
In fact, every time I failed to follow through with an intention, I’d feel really bad.
I’d beat myself up and feel shame about having failed.
Now I almost never beat myself up.
I don’t have an “inner critic.”
And I actually succeed more often than when I did!
From Inner Critic to Inner Ally
Almost all of my neurodivergent clients have a very strong inner critic.
We have a voice in our heads that tells us nasty things constantly.
Most people’s inner monologue says meaner things to themselves than they’d ever say to anyone else.
There’s lots of advice on how to “kill” your inner critic.
In my experience, that doesn’t work.
What actually worked for me was to approach this part of me with love.
To really understand the deeper positive intention of why it did what it did.
With lots of practice doing this, eventually it transformed from a critic to an ally.
Now my inner monologue is mostly a cheerleader!
“Let’s go Duff!”
As Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy used to say,
“What we resist, persists.”
Instead of fighting an inner war, we can create inner peace.
From Forcing to Loving
Forcing doesn’t lead to healing.
Discipline doesn’t lead to change.
Love is the way.
Love is ultimately what works.
How can you be even 1% more kind to yourself today?