Last Updated on August 27, 2025

Listening to the call

Recently I listened to a YouTube video of Native American Flute music.

It made me cry.

And then I realized “I want to learn to play this instrument.”

I still don’t totally know why.

Even so, I decided to get one, for my 46th birthday this week.

Soon I’ll be practicing it, and seeing if it moves me as much as that video did.

It doesn’t make any sense to me why I’ve suddenly decided, at 46 years old, to learn a new instrument I’ve never played before.

It just felt right.

And I’ve learned that this is how some of the best things in life come about.

Wanting something weird

Over my 20+ years of coaching people, I’ve observed a pattern.

Almost everyone, at some point, says they feel called to or drawn to doing something.

But then, something interesting happens:

They dismiss this longing because it just seems “too weird.”

Their desire doesn’t make any conscious sense at all.

And it might even be very different than what they are doing now.

So they reject “The Call to Adventure,” as Joseph Campbell put it.

But in doing so, they are missing out on a transformational journey.

Is it OK to want this?

One day a coaching client of mine wanted to admit something.

It seemed almost too shameful to say out loud.

They hemmed and hawed before finally blurting it out.

They wanted to make video games!

Not as their job, just as a hobby.

But somehow, this didn’t seem OK to do.

So they had tried to dismiss, bury, or get rid of this secret desire.

But it kept coming up, again and again.

To me, this wasn’t something shameful or weird at all.

It sounded like a lot of fun.

But to them, it was something they had a hard time even admitting to themselves, let alone to another person.

What if it was OK to feel good?

I’ve had numerous clients over the years who admitted they enjoyed something sensual or sexual that just felt good to them.

But it was “too weird” so they felt ashamed of this desire.

Importantly, the thing they wanted didn’t hurt themselves or anyone else.

It actually brought them a lot of joy.

And yet, they still felt ashamed of enjoying this forbidden thing.

It makes sense, because there is a lot of inherited cultural shame around sex.

But clearly, it’s not just sexual shame that stops from pursuing our desires.

It’s shame more generally around anything that lights up our soul.

Or anything that just feels good at all!

It’s as if we’ve been trained to believe that a good life is a life of endless suffering.

And if you enjoy doing something a little off the beaten path, there must be something weird about you!

Beyond normal

Do you ever feel this way?

If so, let me ask you a question:

Is your #1 goal in life to be “normal”?

Or is it something else?

Maybe to live a life that lights you up with joy and love?

Or even to pursue excellence at something?

Because neither of those are particularly normal, if we’re being honest!

Embrace your weird.

Do what you love.

Follow those weird unconscious impulses.

Some of them might not lead anywhere.

But some of them will lead to the most enjoyable and meaningful experiences in life.

Take care,

 

 

 

~Duff
(they/them)

P.S. Do you want to live a life of joy and love? If so, consider joining my weekly group The Joy of Doing. It is an extremely positive, supportive group.

If you have questions about the group, get in touch.