Last Updated on March 18, 2024

It’s not the technique, it’s the paradigm

Neuro-linguistic Programming and Hypnosis are filled with amazing techniques.

More and more though, I don’t think it’s about the technique.

It’s about the paradigm.

The Punishment Paradigm

We can make a distinction between two paradigms.

In The Punishment Paradigm, the core belief is “The best way to motivate change is through fear and pain.”

When operating in this paradigm, even the best techniques can create negative outcomes.

We force ourselves to do things we hate.

We manipulate others to do what we want.

We sacrifice for the future.

And we punish ourselves for failure.

Techniques can’t get us out of this trap.

Only a shift in our deep mindset can.

The Progress Paradigm

By contrast, in The Progress Paradigm the core belief is “Things are good, and can also be better!”

We are happy with how things are, and we also see possibilities to make improvements.

We remember that we always have a choice.

We tap into our intrinsic motivation.

We practice kindness and compassion.

And we go for truly win-win solutions.

When in The Progress Paradigm, everything we do is healing.

Even failure can be a healing experience!

That is, when we meet it with honesty, kindness, curiosity, and playfulness.

So ultimately, there is no way to fail!

A Paradigm Shift

I used to be a technique master.

I learned the best change techniques, and practiced them over and over.

But now, I see my role as helping people make this paradigm shift.

The book I’ve been writing since November 2022 is about this.

The coaching group I host weekly is about this.

And every one-on-one coaching session I do is about this.

The Punishment Paradigm is found everywhere we look.

It’s in our educational systems, our governments, our parenting books, our religions, and ourselves.

But it’s never too late to change.

Shift happens!

We can always move from fear to love.

As the expression goes, “When climbing the ladder of success, make sure it’s leaning against the right wall!”

Until next time,
~Duff