Last Updated on June 3, 2025
I eat fear for breakfast
This morning I woke up feeling fear.
In fact, that’s been happening on and off since April of 2024, when I got COVID.
Getting sick made me realize that I want to grow my business.
And I didn’t even realize that I’m terrified of doing so, until I started actually trying to do it!
An old tape keeps playing in my head:
“What if it doesn’t work?”
As if I can know everything in advance!
But the more action I take, the better I feel.
And the better I feel, the more action I take.
It’s a virtuous cycle.
Failing to fail
Last week I decided to try to fail to get on 500 podcasts as a guest.
Unfortunately, I’ve failed at failing.
I’ve already booked myself on five different podcasts, including two that I’m doing today.
So I guess I’ll have to try harder! 😆
Growing up, I had extreme social anxiety.
So you’d think the fear I felt this morning would be about the podcast appearances.
But no, I’m completely comfortable with that!
In fact, I already did one on Sunday and it was great fun.
The fear is just an old autistic pattern of mine.
Autistic rigidity
You see, growing up autistic, not many things really worked for my unique brain.
So I developed this rigidness, this fear of trying new things.
I didn’t think I could respond with flexibility and spontaneity.
“It’s not gonna work!” and “I can’t!” were my mantras.
Despite the decades of inner work I’ve done, there are still some layers of this ancient conditioning playing out.
And that’s OK, because I know it has positive intentions.
It was a way to try to stay safe by playing small, by keeping to my routines.
So when this fear in my belly comes up now, and this thought arises about whether it’s going to work or not, I just turn inward and say,
“Thank you.”
“Thank you for keeping me safe all these years.”
“I love you.”
In the flow
The truth is, I’m now really good at getting into the flow and being spontaneous.
In fact, I really enjoy it!
I love dancing and moving my body spontaneously until I get into a physical flow state.
I love chanting or speaking passionately until I get into a verbal flow state.
In fact, I’ll be teaching how to do this at the Hypnothoughts Live conference in Las Vegas on Sunday July 20th!
(For those attending, my class is called Ecstatic Trance Experience — I hope you’ll join us!)
When I’m in the flow, I have no idea what I’m going to say or do in advance.
I’m just responding to the moment.
And when I’m in a flow state, I’m not worried.
I’m not fearing whether or not what I’m doing is going to work out.
Because I know I can respond to whatever happens.
I know there are infinite possibilities to try.
Act and you shall receive
Doing nothing is a great way to get no results.
But doing anything, even very imperfectly, is a great way to start getting into the flow.
That doesn’t mean the first thing you try will work.
But once you’re in the flow, it’s easy to keep going.
Yesterday I felt a lot of self-doubt and fear before my podcast appearance.
Again it was the same story.
“Is it going to work?”
Of course it’s impossible to answer this question until you try!
The scared little kid inside me believes that it’s a waste of energy to try, that I will simply be exhausted if I do something new.
So better to not do anything.
But after my 30 minute interview, I didn’t feel drained.
I felt energized!
It was great fun to talk about my favorite subject: The Progress Paradigm.
In fact, I felt even more inspired to try something bigger!
“If I can do this, what else can I do?”
I suspect that if I can get on 100 podcasts, it will be even easier to get on podcast number 101.
And who knows what other opportunities this will open up?
So in fact, there is nothing to fear.
We can learn to trust the process, to trust the flow.
Yes, it can be scary at first.
But pretty soon, it will feel enlivening, or even ecstatic.
This is why when I feel fear in my belly in the morning, sometimes I just tell myself,
“I eat fear for breakfast!”
And it makes me laugh, which already helps me to get unstuck and back into the flow.
Where are you stuck?
And what might you try today that could move things forward?
Take care,
~Duff
(they/them)
P.S. I would love to support you in your journey of playing bigger and overcoming your own fears. Book a 30-minute free consultation today to see if we are a good fit for working together.
