Last Updated on January 1, 2024
How to reach your goals in 2024
A lot of people dislike “New Year’s Resolutions.”
Including a lot of coaches and hypnotists.
I think I know why that is, from my own experience.
The Painful Goal Cycle
I used to get very excited at the start of the new year.
I’d think, “This is gonna be my year!!”
I’d set a bunch of ambitious goals.
Then during the year I’d achieve about 30-40% of them.
Sometimes I completely forgot some of my goals.
Or I made zero progress on some of them.
I felt so ashamed of my “failure.”
So to make up for it, I’d set even bigger goals the next year.
Then I’d repeat this process year after year:
- Set ambitious goal.
- Fail to achieve it.
- Feel shame.
Not a winning strategy!
After a few years of this I hated goal setting, because I associated painful emotions with it.
But I still wanted to achieve things!
The Conditional Happiness Trap
I was unknowingly stuck in “the conditional happiness trap.”
That’s the unconscious belief, “If I get the thing I want, then I’ll be happy!”
From this belief system, it makes sense to sacrifice now for later.
It also makes sense to punish yourself harshly for your mistakes.
After all, the process isn’t supposed to be enjoyable!
The only pleasure and joy comes from achieving the goal.
Happiness always comes later.
Don’t Put off Happiness
This whole worldview is about discipline and punishment and shame.
Much of our world runs on this view.
Work hard in school so you can get into a good college.
Work hard in college so you can get a good job.
Work hard at your job so you can save up for retirement.
And then when you’re old and disabled, then you can finally rest and be happy.
If you fail at any of these things, you will be punished harshly.
Increasingly people are seeing through this trap, especially younger generations.
We want to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
Ironically, putting off feeling good is a form of procrastination!
Through all our hard work, we’re always putting off our fulfillment until later.
What if you could enjoy the process of pursuing your goals?
Then you’d be happy whether or not you achieved what you set out to achieve.
That means you can’t lose!
The Joy of Doing
In fact, there is a way to do this.
I call it “The Joy of Doing.”
I’ve written 175,000 words on the subject since November 2022.
And I have “Book 1” almost complete!
Now I still set goals, but I think of them very differently.
Rather than “things I must achieve in order to be happy,” my goals are “areas to explore joyfully.”
They are directions to head on a fun adventure!
I also teach the principles that lead to joyful doing in a weekly class on Sundays at 11am Denver time.
It’s a safe place to try new things and fail…while enjoying the process!
If you are interested in joining our group, now is a great time, as we will be covering The 8 Principles of Joyful Doing starting from number one:
To get started, book a free 30-minute consultation here.
You can also join later in the year, as it’s OK to learn these principles “out of order” too.
Have a wonderfully happy new year!