Last Updated on November 18, 2024

Get back into the flow

Sometimes life feels magical.

Everything just seems to flow, one thing into the next.

And at other times, not so much!

We could ask, “What gets us into that flow state?”

But I think it’s even more helpful to ask, “What stops us from just living there all the time?”

What keeps us stuck

I believe what keeps us stuck and out of the flow is simple:

Resisting reality.

In language, this shows up as “have to’s,” “must’s,” or “should’s.”

These words are what we call “Modal Operators of Necessity.”

They describe a stuck mode of operating, where we think things have to be a certain way.

In other words, we’re trying to force something or someone to be how we want it to be.

Whenever we feel stuck, there is a “have to” hiding in there somewhere.

Making updates

When we believe “Things must be how I desire!”, we’re fighting reality.

Sometimes we were in the flow a month ago, a year ago, even a decade ago.

And we’ve kept doing the same thing that worked back then.

But reality has moved on.

“Shoulding” all over ourselves just keeps us stuck.

Instead of flowing downstream with the river of life, we’re trying to swim upstream.

Maybe it’s time you made an update!

Trying to control the flow

One version of resisting reality is trying to control the flow of life.

When we’re wanting something new, we don’t know what’s going to happen.

As a result, sometimes we can feel afraid to go for it.

Truthfully, we never know what’s going to happen.

To try to address this fear, we can make elaborate plans.

It’s as if we believe, “I must address every possible thing that could go wrong in advance!”

But this is impossible.

Life just flows from one thing to another.

Rather than trying to control the river, we can learn to steer.

Getting unstuck and into the flow

We can get unstuck instantly by simply accepting things as they are right now.

It is how it is.

So by definition, it doesn’t have to be otherwise.

And importantly, we can also take action given how things are now, including just changing our attitude.

We can even switch to appreciating how things are.

As I’m writing this article in Mailchimp, a feature I use regularly is broken.

At first I was frustrated.

“It should be working like it always does!”

Then it dawned on me.

It has worked every day until recently.

How amazing that it has ever worked at all!

Thank goodness I learned HTML all those years ago, because it takes me literally 5 seconds to get around this current bug.

I’ve also paid exactly $0 to use this free Mailchimp account over the course of my life.

So what am I complaining about, really? 😆

Life is good, when we’re going with the flow.

Take care,

 

 

 

~Duff
(they/them)

P.S. Want to get unstuck and into the flow? Schedule a free 30-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit for working together.