Last Updated on November 24, 2023

Everything we do matters

Everything we do either moves us in a healing direction, a harming direction, or keeps us right where we are.

That means it’s possible to make almost anything into a healing experience.

It all depends on how we do it.

Getting Things Done Can Be Healing

Take setting intentions for the day.

A lot of people do this in a way that is stressful.

We say things to ourselves like, “I have so much I have to get done today!”

Those “have to’s” add a lot of inner pressure.

Then we feel anxious or frazzled as we are taking action.

In NLP we call this Modal Operators of Necessity.

These are words in English like have to, must, got to, need to, and should.

This mode of operating from “have to” is stressful, fear-based.

I have to…, or else!

We fear something bad will happen if we don’t get it done.

When we are in “have to mode,” we are moving in a stressful direction.

It happens to all of us sometimes, me included.

And, there is also an opportunity to do something else, should we choose to.

We can do things from “don’t have to” mode.

We can tell ourselves, “I don’t have to get this done, actually. I have a choice.”

And then take a moment to let go of the fear, to release the pressure.

Then we can connect with why we might want to do it.

Doing things out of “want to” feels very different than “have to”!

It can even be deeply healing.

Conversations Can Be Healing

A lot of the time, people connect by ranting, complaining, and gossiping.

This kind of conversation is an attempt to bond.

But it also feels really bad!

And it certainly isn’t healing to the soul.

I get it, I also like to complain and rant sometimes.

There is another option though.

It’s possible to talk about something that was challenging in a way that is healing.

For example, often in the past I’ve thought “Today was an awful day because x, y, and z happened!”

This is the sort of thing people often talk about to bond with friends and family.

So what I’ve been doing myself lately is using this sentence structure:

“Today I was challenged by … , but despite that, what I did well was ….”

The other day I was challenged by feeling sad, but despite that what I did well was I tuned in to the part of me that was sad and said, “I see you, and I love you.”

I really did that the other day, and it helped a lot!

When we rant and complain, we are basically filling in this sentence instead:

“Today was an awful, shitty day because…”

We certainly can do that if we want.

We have the ability to feel unconditional unhappiness, regardless of conditions!

But we also can do the opposite.

No matter what happens, we can utilize it for healing.

Even the shittiest situation can be fertilizer for growth.

Talk soon,
~Duff

p.s. I don’t have any Black Friday deals. But I do have a group coaching meeting called The Joy of Doing. We meet Sundays at 11am Denver time for an hour. People have found it life-changing in 2023.

Starting in January, we will be going through a 12 month curriculum to practice the 8 Principles of Joyful Doing.

Stay tuned for more information on this.