Drifting vs. Choosing

In every moment, we are either drifting or choosing.

Drifting is when we unconsciously float through life.

We forget our purpose, our intention, our goal.

TV, social media, and Amazon are drifting machines.

Their primary function is to get us to forget what we are doing.

If we’re feeling bad, drifting might feel good in the short term.

But usually we feel worse after.

And the longer we use a drifting machine, the more unconscious we become.

Instead of shaping our own lives, our lives are shaped by someone else.

For someone else.

Luckily, it doesn’t have to be this way.

At any moment we can pause, feel, and decide.

Living on purpose is not easy when we’re surrounded by drifting machines.

And to be honest, I’ve spent most of my life drifting too.

After quitting Facebook and Instagram recently, I only really started to notice just how often I drift.

Yes, I set my 3 Most Important Things for the day and usually complete them.

But even so, most of my days I spent drifting from one thing to another.

In every free moment, I’d check social media or email or reply to a text.

Sometimes I’d be “productive” but it would just be drifting from one task to another, without clarity of intention.

At the end of the day I was busy all day, and yet I don’t know what I achieved.

After working, I’d need hours to decompress, to escape.

My head hurt, my eyes felt strained, and my body just felt yucky.

But now I’m drifting less.

I’m not only getting more done, but it feels spacious.

At the end of the day, I might feel tired, but I don’t feel drained.

Choosing a conscious life doesn’t mean being rigid or forceful.

It’s not “drifting vs. rigidly structuring.”

It’s “drifting vs. being in the flow.”

You can drift down a river or you can steer down a river.

One is radically different than the other.

And did you even choose to get in this river at all?

I don’t subscribe to the idea of “time-blocking” every waking moment.

I’m not trying to become a productivity machine.

But there is something very human about stopping, feeling, and deciding.

Perhaps I had planned to work on a project, but when I check in, I’m feeling quite tired so I decide to take a nap instead.

That’s still consciously choosing.

Because I’m paying attention, and I’m the one who decides.

I’m not being led by systems or habits or emotions that don’t serve me.

I’m taking leadership in my own life.

And that’s what makes all the difference.

The vast majority of my coaching clients are struggling with drifting.

In fact, I’d say almost everyone alive is drifting through their days.

But it’s not your fault.

Our behaviors have been molded by multinational corporations to turn our time and attention into profit for their billionaire owners.

Great for them, but not great for us.

Designing your environment can help, such as turning off notifications.

But even before that it’s about deciding how you want to be.

And especially, who or what will lead your life.

I once heard someone describe the Facebook feed as “the worst of the collective unconscious.”

That’s a big reason why I quit.

I didn’t want to be led by that.

In every moment we are either leading or being led.

Neither is necessarily better than the other.

If you’re leading, where are you choosing to lead?

If you’re being led, who are you choosing to follow and why?

It’s about knowing where you want to go, how you want to feel, what you want to do.

Be aware of drifting machines.

They cause us to forget what’s most important in life.

And before we know it, we struggle to remember if life has any purpose at all.

But the more we consciously choose, the more meaningful life becomes.

Day after day, it’s like we are adding a drop into the meaningfulness bucket.

Soon you feel alive again, or even in love with life.

And you don’t even miss the drift.

If you want to drift less, you might run a little experiment for yourself.

You don’t have to go full “monk mode,” just gather data.

Before doing a particular activity, rate your mental clarity 0-10.

0 is complete brain fog, confusion, and no sense of what you’re doing with your life.

10 is complete inner power, connection with your life’s purpose, and feeling totally capable of pursuing and achieving your goals.

Notice whether 30 minutes scrolling social media increases or decreases your score.

Versus 30 minutes meditating, or going for a walk, or playing guitar.

Or whatever other activities you do.

What brings you closer to clarity?

It’s about progress, not perfection.

And today, you can drift a little less and choose a little more.

Take care,

~Duff
(they/them)

P.S. Want support in drifting less? I got you.
Book a free 30-minute consultation.