Last Updated on December 6, 2023

Create your own community

There’s an epidemic of loneliness these days.

Ironically, we are more connected than ever with social media and communication apps.

But we are less deeply connected and more isolated too.

For those of us who are neurodivergent weirdos (like myself), we may feel like we often “don’t belong.”

But we aren’t helpless, we can proactively create community.

Finding Your Weirdos

My life really started to change when I found “my people.”

Up until high school, I was viciously bullied just for existing.

Then I got into a different high school and found my nerd friend group.

Instantly, I “belonged” in this group of chess-playing, Dungeons & Dragons playing geeks.

It still took a long time to really feel like I belonged though.

In fact, I’m still pretty passive when it comes to reaching out to friends or organizing get togethers.

I wait for others to invite me, rather that reaching out first!

But that strategy doesn’t really get me the connection I want.

Making Connections

During the pandemic I realized I really needed more community.

So when a friend of mine said “Let’s create a weekly accountability group” I knew I was in.

In fact, I knew that it wouldn’t happen unless I took leadership and made it happen!

He invited the people, and I made sure the logistics happened.

We’ve been doing this group for over 2 years now.

I feel a lot closer to the people in the group as a result!

Communicating What You Want

A few weeks ago I was feeling like our accountability group was getting a bit stale.

Then I realized, “wait, I have the power here to do something about this!”

I asked people in the group what they liked about it, what was working well.

And I also asked people what things they thought we might make even better.

This surfaced some great ideas for improving the group!

Since then, it’s felt much more alive.

I have been leading a short meditation to start it off, which brings us deeper.

And we’ve been staying more on topic with our check-ins.

This 10 minute conversation we had one time has greatly improved my experience!

How might you create more of the kinds of community you are wanting?

Take care,
~Duff

p.s. If you want to join an already great community, I facilitate a weekly coaching group called The Joy of Doing.

We meet Sundays at 11am Denver time for one hour. It’s only $47 a month.

To join the group, sign up for a free 30-minute consultation with me first, so we can chat about it and get to know each other a bit.